The 3 Dangers of Accepting What You Haven't Earned and Don't Deserve
» Saturday, August 29th, 2009 at 06:29pm |
If you get stranded on an island and a man gives you two options but you can only choose one — he will either give you a fish or teach you how to catch fish — which would you pick?
Do you satisfy yourself today at the expense of your ability to survive on the island tomorrow and as long as you remain there?
Or do you starve today and as long as it takes until you learn how to catch fish without the man's help, consequently feeding yourself for assumbly the rest of your stay on the island?
It seems to be in our natures to want what's fast, easy and free, right?
But you know what?
Though it's true, we usually do benefit from accepting what's fast, easy and free in the moment or the short-term, the other side of the truth is this:
We often end-up penalizing ourselves in the long-term which actually stops us from getting what we truly want in Life.
The above illustration is a near perfect example of our financial futures:
Accepting what we haven't earned today closes the door on the opportunities we can grasp tomorrow.
Now, am I suggesting that you should never, ever accept things that are fast, easy or free?
Not at all.
What I am suggesting is that it would be wise to consider what kind of effect it has on you whenever you do accept something that you didn't have to work for... because it places you in a position where it wouldn't be available to you in the future, under your own individual power.
Let me share the dangers I've discovered by accepting or taking what I didn't deserve:
Danger #1: It Kills Desire and Self-Reliance
Nothing destroys the motivation for achievement or a better quality of life better than accepting "scraps" enough to subside our hunger.
That is why it is better to be "hungry" than to be "satisfied" by taking what someone else offers us where our effort isn't required.
Not only is it not what we decided we truly wanted, but it weakens our desire to go out and get it!
Accepting that fish today will kill the motivation to learn how to fish so that we may eat well tomorrow — and every day afterwards — by our own power.
Danger #2: It Creates the Expection of "Something for Nothing"
Since we tend to come to expect that which we allow ourselves to become accustomed to getting, if what we do get isn't attained through our own initiative, we start expecting that we are entitled to more than what we have earned.
And it is this very attitude that seems to be one of the major roadblocks to financial independence and freedom.
It is an abominantion against the way "the world works".
Any attitude that spits in the face of Nature is sure to penalize us with nothing but endless frustration.
Danger #3: It Cultivates Self-Pity and Envy
The foundation of Self-Respect and "worthiness" comes from knowing we "have what it takes" because we can "take it" through the use of our own power alone.
And where there is no effort back of what we come to possess, there is little satisfaction in it.
We are only satisfied with ourselves to the degree to which we have consciously developed ourselves and designed our own lives.
And without that in the background of our lives, it seems the only result is "self-pity" and envy for those who may have what we perceive ourselve to be "missing out" on.
Thus, to you who want Freedom and Happiness:
Refuse to accept what you haven't earned, unless it is absolutely necessary to your survival and you're willing to offer an equal compensation for what you receive.
Refuse to accept the "fish" and starve while you "learn to fish".
| Published by Jay Julio under Beliefs and Attitude |
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How To Awaken Your Hibernating Masculinity
» Wednesday, August 26th, 2009 at 03:02pm |
I want you to think about how your family operated for a moment:
Which of your parents "ran" your household?
Was it your father... or your mother?
Who made the decisions?
I mean, who REALLY made the decisions?
The reason I ask this is because the answer to that question will reveal something very important in relation to how you're likely currently living your life, along with the secret motives underlining most — if not all of your decisions today.
Here's something worth thinking about:
Though there are very few small exceptions, generally speaking we learn what to expect from women by noticing how our fathers let our mothers treat them, and we also learn how we're "supposed" to interact with women by watching how our fathers communicated with our mothers.
And if our fathers were submissive to our mothers, guess what?
There's probably no need for an explanation here.
Furthermore, the way in which our fathers interacted with us also tends to become the way we go about interacting with other men in the world.
Now, if you've followed my earlier work directed specifically at women and dating, did you ever take what I recommended and compare it with how your father interacted with your mother?
If so, did you find that your father, for the most part, did the complete opposite?
And in spite of knowing this — knowing what you "shouldn't do" and knowing what you "should do" to get better results with women — as you began learning to put it into practice, did you ever find those habits difficult to break?
In spite of knowing what to do, you still found it difficult to do?
We'll get to this problem shortly but let's go one step further...
Do you have any sisters?
If you do, consider that the same process was in operation on her side:
She noticed how your mother interacted with your father and likely adopted that same approach with you.
Which brings me to the most important point:
How we've habitually let others treat us, especially when their behavior is unacceptable, causes us to form unconscious habits that "signal" to others that they can treat us the same way — at least, until we learn to recognize them at a conscious level, which in turn allows us the choice to change them.
This is the fundamental concept to awaken your Masculine Power.
It can be broken-down into a definite process, which follows this sequence:
You have to go back in your memory and identify all the common disrespectful ways your family treated you, recognize them and how you responded to them, then ask yourself what kind of habits you created in response to them... which you're still acting out today.
Once you've accomplished this and if you're still in touch with your family, you NEED to immediately begin letting them know that the ways in which they've become accustomed to treating you and also continue to act out was and is unacceptable.
The reason this is so important is this:
Once you start communicating these things to your family members, it changes the dynamic of the relationships with your mother and your father, which automatically changes the way you interact with women and other men in the world.
Over the past few years I've identified what seem to be 21 distinct unacceptable behaviors others throw at us.
I've also discovered that the degree to which we don't communicate that these behaviors are unacceptable is the exact ratio to which we let fear and anger develop and gradually ferment within ourselves.
The very act of communicating your Terms of Respect sets in motion the process necessary to break-down any repressed fear and anger and eventually release it.
This in effect changes the "vibe" you put out...
Which is the real secret that naturally causes women to be attracted to you and other men to respect you from the very first moment they notice you.
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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