The Essential Attitude in the Pursuit of Self-Mastery
» Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 at 10:46am |
To the best of my knowledge, Self-Mastery is the foundation of Mastership, wherein the dormant potentialities or spiritual faculties and powers of man are unfolded and placed at his conscious, deliberate command.
In "Grow Rich! with Peace of Mind", Napoleon Hill revealed that the Masters from the Great Parent School of Knowledge are aware of all those who have taken on the Pursuit of Self-Mastery, and that their progress is being monitored — through methods unknown to the men of the masses.
He further goes on to say that when a man achieves Self-Mastery, he automatically becomes an Initiate of the Great Parent School and is directly notified by a Master of the School, with the purpose of assuring him he has made the First Great Achievement.
And should he desire Mastership, a Great Master is placed at his side for the Instruction in taking on the Second Great Achievement.
It seems to me that each Great Achievement carries with it a specific benefit, not only to himself, but to everyone who comes within his influence — as we've seen with those Masters who were commissioned to take the Instruction public:
SELF-MASTERY frees a man of his Destructive Impulses, the real cause of pain and suffering in Life, which, in turn, allows him to instill a harmonious union in his Marriage with his wife, and be a true Friend and encouragement to all who are open and receptive to Truth.
MASTERSHIP allows a man to prove to himself, without doubt, that Life continues after Death, along with the definiteness of what events occur thereafter, which he may pass on to those who have Faith in him, giving them Peace in their "hour of need".
Though I have not made either of these Great Achievements, I have accumulated a definite stock of knowledge, backed by direct personal experience, concerning the ESSENTIAL ATTITUDE required in the Pursuit of Self-Mastery, that First Great Achievement upon which Happiness is founded.
I want to share my findings with you by laying down the critical attributes I've discovered to make up this Essential Attitude, and perhaps save you some time — should this be an aim in your life.
It will likely be found that the Pursuit of Self-Mastery or the construction of a Moral Character follows this progression:
STEP 1: Knowledge of Human Nature
STEP 2: Self-Awareness
STEP 3: Self-Acceptance
STEP 4: Self-Initiative
Let's take them up one at a time:
STEP 1: Knowledge of Human Nature
This concerns itself with knowing the impulses which motivate the Soul, and perhaps, through observation, learning to recognize the ways in which they manifest themselves, along with the effects those expressions tend to have not only upon the state of mind and body of ourselves but also, through their Instinctive Channel, upon others.
It will be found that the Dangerous Dynamic often serves as the "Classroom of Morality".
Within, the Wisdom concerning the wicked ways of Man is learned, whereby means of protection can further be constructed.
Laid out simply:
Knowledge of Human Nature involves the understanding of both the Destructive and Constructive Impulses of which make up Man, compounded with the understanding of their corresponding expressions and the Instinctive Responses they naturally elicit from others.
And since the Pursuit of Self-Mastery is a matter of Morality, which could be said to be the act of deliberately stopping off or redirecting the Destructive Impulses along constructive lines, aiding and allowing the Constructive Impulses to better come to dominate one's Consciousness, knowledge of and the ability to identify the Impulses of Man is the starting point.
For without it, is it not impossible to see the truth about others and the ways in which their behavior tends to affect us, with emphasis put upon how it may tear us down unconsciously?
And perhaps more importantly:
How are we to see ourselves as we truly are if we are ignorant of what motivates our thoughts and actions, along with the knowledge of how giving expression to them destroys or builds our lives, and transforms others into Antagonists, where the fault is on us — or Allies, through our sympathetic and cooperative effort?
STEP 2: Self-Acceptance
There is perhaps no greater flaw in our natures than our reluctance — or at least our initial reluctance to acknowledge the negative or destructive tendencies within ourselves, which, through Cause and Effect, stops us from gaining the Self-Awareness required to see ourselves, not as we may believe, but as we are.
It will be found that our inability or instinctive hesitance to see ourselves as we truly are is perhaps the greatest roadblock in the Pursuit of Self-Mastery.
For without knowing our starting point, how is it possible to direct our efforts toward our aim and so finally arrive at the gateway of the First Great Achievement?
Since the crux of civilized man seems to be his desire to separate and label all things as either good or bad and right or wrong, often administering great penalties to those things we term bad and wrong, it will be observed that the result is the fear of making mistakes.
And with the fear of being bad and wrong, two problems arise:
FIRST, in our fear of being a bad person — lest we unintentionally do the wrong thing — we place that great barrier between Self-Ignorance and Self-Awareness in position.
Thus, when fully erected, we prevent ourselves from looking at ourselves, and identifying and acknowledging our Sins — or our dominant Destructive Impulses.
This sad condition makes Personal Responsibility impossible, which is why Dogmatism (and its sibbling sister, Intellectualism) is that deadly advocate of Immorality.
SECOND, when we do make mistakes or, through our ignorance, tread upon the rights of others, we ignore them — or if they assert their terms, we justify our crimes with the hope that we will not be held accountable for our transgressions.
Thus, we attempt to convince and prove to others — through the creation of any number of what we deem "logical" reasons and arguments — that they are the problem (only to generate resentment from them) instead of accepting that we were at fault. Then perhaps using that experience as incentive to take greater responsibility for the thoughts we admit into our minds, which caused the outward expression of our crimes to begin with.
Upon these facts, the KEY SHIFT in perspective I've found critical is to start looking at things not as good and bad or right and wrong, but as Causes and Effects.
The effects can then be taken and separated, without judgment, as either Constructive or Destructive, not through condemnation but through the observation of the nature of effect:
Does it build up? Or does it tear down?
And with this criteria in mind, the motive for change shifts from not wanting to be a bad, wrong person to wanting to live a constructive, altruistic life by removing the destructive barriers.
STEP 3: Self-Awareness
Only with the Knowledge of Human Nature as the foundation along with the removal of the "dogmatic stigma" of being bad (or the "intellecualist stigma" of being stupid), does it becomes possible, accompanied by the aid of courage and humility, to begin seeing ourselves as we truly are.
The Knowledge of Human Nature becomes that lens upon which all Self-Evaluation can be made, with definite accuracy.
Human Nature is constant and immutable; the opinions of Man are variable and whimsical, often twisted by a stock of snap-judgments and prejudices.
Self-Evaluation founded on Human Nature is the only path by which a man can begin to see himself, not as others — or even himself — may have come to believe himself to be, but upon the truth of who he actually is, based on the facts of his Moral Character, orchestrated by Nature's Laws.
And through careful Self-Analysis, based upon our understanding of Human Nature and the elimination of Pride, Vanity, or Egotism through their "psychical solvent" — Self-Acceptance — we can begin to observe the current state of our Moral Characters and identify our dominant Destructive Impulses.
It is with these realizations that we can also start recognizing the many ways in which we let them, through their unconscious admission or deliberate expression, tear down our constructive faculties and powers, along with the detrimental Instinctive Responses they elicit from others.
This reveals to us our personal path and individualized effort necessary in our Pursuit of Self-Mastery, the Master-Key to the Greater Life.
And since the Greater Life is found in mastering the dominant Destructive Impulses of our Natures — those things which repel Prosperity and Love, back of Happiness — the solution has been set down and all that is left to be done is to take upon ourselves the Great Work.
STEP 4: Self-Initiative
After the above conditions have been setup in the mind:
- A workable knowledge of Human Nature has been gained, namely the individual identification and operations of the Destructive Impulses of Man,
- Acceptance that the presence of the Destructive Impulses of our natures is a problem to be solved instead of hidden, ignored, and compensated for — or deliberately welcomed and acted upon, with the Conscience put aside — and
- Identification of the dominant Destructive Impulses individual to and prevalent within ourselves, along with the expressions they manifest and the negative effects they have on others through the Law of Transmission...
But one thing remains:
Self-Initiative to work-out this Great Problem, backed by adequate Self-Disipline required to follow this course of action through to completion.
For I wager, through Reason and Intuition (since I have not yet proved it to myself) that to solve this Great Problem and achieve Self-Mastery establishes the fundamental conditions necessary to living the Greater Life:
PROSPERITY is found through the cooperative effort with others in working toward the Service of Humanity.
Yet while there exists a domineering Destructive Impulse in any of the minds of those leading the Act of Service, it will, and must meet its demise due to competition, that bastard offspring of Greed and Envy, of one upon the other.
LOVE is found through the harmonious partnership between husband and wife in taking on Nature's Second Obligation, the Family.
Yet with any dominant Destructive Impulses present in the mind of those making up the Marriage, the marital Union will soon sour, which will be permeated into the children and undermine Nature's Second Obligation, as most often tends to be the case where a marriage is wrought-out with the Impulses of Jealousy and Anger.
This is what I can gather from the facts available to me, but I do not yet know on every account mentioned.
However, I suspect that he who has lived it will vouch for its accuracy.
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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The Root of Our Dominant Destructive Impulses
» Friday, December 18th, 2009 at 10:22pm |
To anyone who has both a strong understanding of the Duality of the emotions and motives in operation back of and driving Human Nature and also a refined sense of Self-Awareness, it is obvious that we all have specific Destructive Impulses which have come to be dominant in our Moral Characters.
Our Moral Characters can be said to be the sum total of the Impulses, both Constructive and Destructive, we have allowed into our conscious minds, whereby they are passed on and are "filed away" in our subconscious minds, which is the sole determinant of our conduct on the Stage of Life.
Once each of these Impulses have been passed through the conscious mind into the subconscious mind, they are generally no longer under our awareness or control, and influence, to no small degree, the conditions we create in the Great Unfoldment.
Where personal interaction is concerned, this occurs through the Law of Transmission as discussed in Personal Responsibility and Our Destructive Natures.
The science of Morality can be stated quite simply:
The refinement of a man's Moral Character is in direct ratio to the absence of Destructive Impulses he allows into his mind just has the coarsity of a man's Morality is in relation to the Destructive Impulses he allows to enter his "psychical estate".
And since our power to influence the Great Unfoldment along Constructive lines is in direct relation to how well we've succeeded at mastering the Destructive Impulses of our Natures — meaning the effectiveness to which we've used our Will Power to refuse admittance of the Destructive Impulses from either entering the conscious mind or passing from it into the subconscious mind — perhaps it can be helpful to understand how we adopt the Destructive Impulses which have become dominant in our Characters.
For the degree to which a man has mastered the Destructive Impulses of his Nature is the exact ratio to which he frees himself of his Sins — as it will be found that what we often refer to as Sin is, upon the facts, the particular manifestation or physical expression of the Destructive Impulses.
The Impulse must precede the outward expression, just as a seed must be planted before a tree will grow.
Simply put:
It will be discovered that the dominant Destructive Impulses of a man's Character are generally learned through the unconscious repetition of them in relation to the common or prevalent "Instinctive Triggers" present during his formative years.
Or in other words, through the process of receiving specific Destructive Behaviors repeatedly over time, each having a tendency to trigger a corresponding Instinctive Response of which is also repeated consistently over time until it becomes a habit, rooted deeply in the subconscious mind where it tends to go unseen and unnoticed by the individual.
As a simple demonstration:
Suppose a child is scolded and admonished repeatedly for playing and laughing during his formative years.
If he responds in fear each time — as is the Instinctive Response — and after much repetition, he will finally come to unconsciously respond to "play" with fear, which will be taken into adult life, if it is never deliberately mastered.
And it will likely be discovered that, if he does not overcome it, he will find himself adverse to new ideas and experiences, and will develop a rigid Intolerance on subjects which he is unfamiliar with.
It might be worth noting that where Intolerance is found, Self-Righteousness is close behind.
Furthermore, it will be found that it is the Destructive Impulses of our Nature which the Masters have often referred to as "Sin", not just their expression as the "good men of the world" lay claim to, but the very ADMITTANCE of them into the mind.
We see the Great Master reveal this truth quite definitely when he said:
You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Of course, the "good" men of the world often tend to take this truth not as the Master intended, as a presentation of a simple psychological fact and its relation to its effects upon the Soul, but as a means of controlling women and limiting the "sex exchange", motivated by Jealousy which is, in itself, a Sin against the Soul.
And with any amount of experience directed along accurate lines in observing the effects the Destructive Impulses or Sins have upon the physical body — which is a reflection of the Soul Attitude back of and operating it — it will be clearly noted that specific maladies and diseases surface in relation to ones Sins.
It would seem this is why the Master Jesus said, "The wages of Sin is Death":
The admission of the Destructive Impulses into the conscious mind whereby they are given the opportunity, with no protection left, to bury themselves into the subconscious, and thus interfere with the vital operations of the mentality and physical body, which over time, generates malfunction and disease.
In childhood we are often taught the popular excuse (which some carry over into adulthood) to explain away or justify our refusal to take Personal Responsibility and cooperate with Nature's Constructive Principle:
"The Devil made me do it."
But the truth is not based on this or any other superstition, but science — demonstrated through the psychical Process outlined above.
Therefore, let us lay it down as clearly and definitely as possible here:
- An intention — whether under the direction of the Will or in response to a thought or its outward behavior released by another — is mixed with an emotion, which defines the motive back of the intention.
- That motive creates an internal response and outward expression through the medium of the physical body, evident through movement and vocal tonality.
- That internal response affects our Health, for better or worse, in relation to the nature of the Impulse, and the outward expression of it is also transmitted to everyone within its sensory perception and can be "read", should they have the Knowledge of the Cause and Effect of Morality (or Immorality).
This is how it is possible, without error, to know immediately when someone is being dishonest or lying, despite lack of "solid" evidence.
Truly, we commit Sin not because there is some bogey man taunting us, whispering in our ears.
We commit our Sins because we respond to our intentions by mixing them with any of the Destructive Emotions (we've generally allowed to become habitual, and thus invisible to us) which, when mixed, makes the outward expressions of behavior we call "transgressions", "sins", or "crimes" inevitable, just as the day must follow the night.
Thus, let it be known:
Blessed is the man knows his Sins and takes on the Great Work of identifying and conquering them for he shall "inherit the Kingdom of God". And being that we know "the Kingdom of God is within you", as all the Wise Men have revealed to us, we are left with the state of mind or Consciousness known as Faith, the basis and source of the Master Jesus' miracles.
But cursed is the man who knows his Sins and deliberately welcomes and encourages them for he knowingly trades in the short-term perceived benefit of their expression (as in the most obvious cases of Envy and Revenge), only to tear down the vitality within his own Soul in the long-term, which if redirected would raise him to heights that would baffle his imagination.
And damned is the man who neither knows the dominant Destructive Impulses of his Nature nor desires to but instead ignores and denies their existence, for he will forever work at deceiving himself and compensating for his destructive thoughts and conduct in a vane attempt to convince himself that he is a "good" man, only to bring upon himself the contempt of the World.
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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The Science of How Thought Translates Into Experience
» Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 at 04:20am |
There is an ancient saying:
"Fools deride, philosophers investigate."
Perhaps it is upon this observation that the Great Souls of Man's history have been scorned and labeled lunatics until their Faith had grown strong enough, through it's outward physical (and perhaps spiritual) expression, to overcome the weight of the opposition of mass ignorance.
I'm generally a practical man.
Though I certainly am tolerant on spiritual matters and have found myself quite fascinated by what those who have looked into the spiritual realm with their own spiritual sight have shared, I prefer to investigate things that I can quantify and measure the results of based on direct, personal experience and observation.
For it is my conviction that:
A so-called "spiritual" man who does not possess the conscious and deliberate use of his spiritual sense channels can be nothing more than a quack at worst, and an intellectual speculator at best.
Neither of which has any substantial value to those of us who demand the Truth, based upon the Facts of Life.
And since I don't remember the time in which I had my spiritual sense channels open and functioning, assuming it is true that we were all born with them wide open and active, I prefer to direct my efforts and observations of the Facts of Nature upon the physical plane of Life.
The reason is simple:
I only have my physical sense channels consciously available to me; therefore, from what other relatively reliable source (in relation to their accuracy, of course) do I have at my command to draw my conclusions?
For what more can come of a man who attempts to explore the spiritual realms with the use of the faculties of his physical senses than speculation — of which we know leads to superstition and finally fear?
Would that not be like attempting to quantify sound using a scale?
Even an ignorant fool would laugh because he knows better.
Thus, it is through the physical channel in relation to the "psychical" or "psychological" medium of the mind that a science has slowly revealed itself to me, through direct experience, personal observation, along with the previous investigations and findings of others who devised scientific formulas along similar lines.
It is called a science for the simple reason that it is based upon observable and quantifiable facts, and the revelation of certain principles in operation in Nature through the study of the Cause and Effect of those facts.
This science calls for the psychical awareness of thought, the identification of their outward, physical expressions upon the physical body, and the observation of how those expressions cause others, through their instinctive channel, to respond.
Thus, we can follow the progression from a thought-impulse to its physical expression, and then the experiences those expressions, through the Law of Transmission, must create (with a few definite exceptions).
But what is a thought?
I've reached the conclusion that a thought is an intention, which is responded to by an emotion or motive. That mixture of intention and emotion, through the reflex of the body, creates an outward expression of the thought.
Others, through their physical sense channels, as a rule, instinctively respond to that outward expression of the form the thought takes through our bodies.
Perhaps I could speculate that the same effect is occurring upon the spiritual body and the spiritual senses of others as well, and though my intuition tells me so, I do not know, nor claim to know, and therefore I will leave it at that.
This brings us to the demonstration and my personal experience in reaching these conclusions:
There have been many times in my life where I've found myself in situations, wondering just how I came to find myself under the circumstances that made up the event.
I reckoned that there must be specific conditions that I am, though unconsciously and perhaps unintentionally establishing, which are responsible for creating them.
Furthermore, I don't think I'd be too far off the mark to wager that all of us have found ourselves in predicaments, only to question how they came about.
Whether desirable or undesirable, the momentary situations — and the conditions of which are responsible for their creation — which we find ourselves in are a direct result of the outward expressions of the chain of thought-impulses held in the mind at the time.
With understanding of the processes in operation, it will be observed that, in the great majority of cases, the conditions are dependent solely on the presence and identity of the particular thought-impulse present in the conscious mind.
It will be found that when things take an undesirable turn, a Destructive Impulse made its intervention in the conscious mind...
While when things are transpiring in a desirable manner, it will be observed that it is a Constructive Impulse which is present.
And with all science, we can demonstrate it quite clearly and definitely:
For example, I've often found myself walking away from an interaction before it had "officially" come to close.
I would find myself turning my back and leaving, with seemingly little power on my part to decide until that critical moment of decision had already passed me by, when it was too late.
I suspect this had been happening throughout most of my life, but I had not consciously become aware of it until some time had passed in my study of the Alexander Technique.
And when I began considering the root of this problem, it came to my attention that those whom I had associated with during my formative years had the consistent tendency to initiate an interaction with me while I was walking in the opposite direction or out the door rather than letting me first give them my attention by approaching me directly.
The instinctive response was to "throw" my attention behind my head.
It dawned on me that, through repetition of this circumstance as I matured, and in order to be "tactful" or not perceived as "rude" or condemned for "ignoring" them, I came to compensate for their "bad behavior" by forming the habit of thrusting my attention to a location somewhere behind me.
That compensation, an intangible thought-impulse, became an unconscious habit rooted in my subconscious mind, which created the anticipation of like conditions in future situations.
Therefore, as its been my observation that when we expect or anticipate something to occur, our attentions follow the most direct route which will lead us to what we expect, while our bodies, in response, take on a form that unconsciously "signals" to others that "this" expectation is what's going to happen.
In this manner the necessary conditions are established to bring the like situation into physical experience; therefore, there is a definite process through which our thoughts, especially when formed into unconscious habit, have a way of translating themselves into predictable experience.
Following my example:
I've concluded that because I had become so accustomed to interacting with others while my attention was given to them behind me, I unconsciously and in advertently recreated it, even when others weren't triggering the process or playing into it in any way whatsoever.
Now, perhaps you can't identify with the specifics of my example, but I have little doubt that, upon Self-Analysis, you will find that it is the very process set down here, which is responsible for the experiences you create for yourself — despite any illusions or excuses we may have that the situations we find ourselves in are a result of "bad luck" or "good luck".
It should be further noted that, through repetition of "destructive interaction" and thus the formation of destructive unconscious habits which create like situations in the future, back of these habits is a structure, which I've found, if fully understood and the practical application necessary to overcome them is applied, opens the doorway to unseen, dormant potentialities already within the make-up of Man.
I suspect this is the critical problem that must be squarely confronted by those who take upon themselves the arduous task of Self-Mastery, leading to Mastership itself.
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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Personal Responsibility and Our Destructive Natures
» Sunday, November 22nd, 2009 at 02:28am |
Ask the "good men of this world" what Personal Responsibility is, and how do most answer?
"Work hard to provide for and support your family."
There is no arguing this isn't perhaps one of the greater responsibilities in Life — assuming it's not used as a means of control for the selfish gain of feeling superior or as a compensation for loneliness.
But the "Wise Men", who take into consideration both sides of Life and therefore have a global perspective of how one side relates to the other, especially in relation to the Soul, view Personal Responsibility much differently — and in its truest sense.
They say:
"Know and work toward mastering your Destructive Nature, to the best of your abilities. This is your First Obligation under Nature's Design. For it is only in doing so that it is truly possible to fulfill her Second Obligation. Furthermore, in so doing, it will be found that the "responsibilities of this world" become easier in relation to how well you've fulfilled Nature's First Obligation."
Therefore, the foundation of true Personal Responsibility is the Desire and Will to master our Destructive Natures by identifying which of the Destructive Impulses we, personally, are most susceptible to and then putting in the effort to control them.
It will likely be found — at least it's been my experience — that in order to work toward this aim it often means being "irresponsible" as far as the "men of this world" are concerned.
The reason is simple:
Worldly men's definition of Personal Responsibility seems to make no allowance for mistakes (and perhaps rightly so in some cases) BUT it is the one necessary ingredient in taking on the task of mastering our Destructive Natures; therefore, Man's Responsibility tends to make fulfilling Nature's Responsibility (designed by Nature's Great Creator) much more difficult, if not next to impossible.
I say this not to condone the indulgence of our envy, self-righteousness, greed, anger, revenge, lust and the entire gauntlet of the Impulses of the Destructive Nature, but for the purpose of learning to master and control them.
It seems Self-Control must be preceded by their conscious expression for the purpose of personally coming to identify them.
And if we suppress the Destructive Impulses as not to make mistakes and to be "right", we strip ourselves of that opportunity.
It will be found that:
Every Destructive Impulse we give expression to translates itself into a physical (and likely a corresponding spiritual) equivalent. It is that physical manifestation that instinctively elicits or draws out a corresponding and predictable destructive response in others — through the Law of Transmission — if they have not yet mastered the corresponding Destructive Impulse in their own Moral Characters.
Thus:
FIRST, when we are ignorant to our Destructive Natures, and more specifically the dominant Destructive Impulses we give expression to regularly — because we're so accustomed to them — we no longer have the ability to see how others react to what we do.
And it is upon this basis that we start perceiving the ways others instinctively react to our negative habits to be "just the way people are" — when in reality, it could be "just how they are AROUND US", responding to OUR Destructive Impulses under the jurisdiction of their own Destructive Natures.
For who has not seen someone they thought they knew well in a different environment and away from the people they regularly associate with, only to notice that that person almost seemed to be a completely different person?
I wager we've all had an experience along these lines.
It will be found the reason is based on the fact that they either started responding or stopped responding through the dominant Impulses of their Destructive Nature.
SECOND, when we become aware of the dominant Destructive Impulses of our natures, we start recognizing how they cause others, through their own Instinctive Channel and under the Law of Transmission, to respond to us.
It will be found that the way others respond to our Destructive Impulses, which is in relation to the particulars of their own Moral Character, will be equally negative if our Destructive Impulses harmonize with those of their Destructive Natures.
To illustrate this:
My struggles have been mainly with Anger.
Most of us know it manifests itself physically through an abrupt harshness to the vocal tone, a stiff neck, tight chest, and a "steely" gaze.
It may be obvious to most that we tend to instinctively respond to these expressions by "clamping up", coughing, etc.
However, there was a time when I didn't see this in myself nor the response it elicited from others for the simple reason that it was constant in my life and so it registered as "normal"; therefore, I didn't and couldn't recognize it.
And since who's going to directly point this out to me, it took some time, through a close association with perhaps the one woman I've ever truly loved, before I came to realize it consciously.
Then came the continuous work.
In like manner, the sum total of the Destructive Impulses that make up the Destructive Nature, it will be found that we all have certain ones that are dominant in our Characters and upon our Individualities, while others may not be a problem — but which may be to others.
It will also likely be found that, unless you already have a great deal of Self-Awareness, you may not yet see your own Destructive Impulses in operation... nor how practically everyone you interact with is instinctively and perhaps negatively, though "silently", responding to them.
In fact, some may not even be consciously aware of it either.
FINALLY, it is upon this "problem" that our "earthly responsibilities" become easier the better we become at mastering our Destructive Natures. It can be founded on the conditions we begin establishing as a result of making this Great Achievement:
We know that the business of Life revolves around communicating with and serving others, and by mastering the Destructive Impulses of our Nature, we accomplish two things that begin working in our favor because of it:
- We stop triggering the harmonizing instinctive responses in others; thus, we don't repel them
- And we also stop instinctively responding to the Destructive Impulses others express in our presence; thus, they don't repel us.
It's been my experience that, in many odd moments when I have my Destructive Nature under complete Self-Control, those who I may have gotten on horribly with before no longer respond instinctively to my Anger for the simple reason that it's no longer present and therefore can't trigger their instinct.
While, at the same time, I no longer respond irritably to any of the Destructive Impulses they may give expression to during the interaction.
Essentially what this means is that there is absolutely no friction (with the exception of envy) because the interactions play out without the Dangerous Dynamic coming into full swing as the "recipient-response" is diffused.
Furthermore, I've witnessed this in those rare individuals who exemplify it consistently, evident through their Poise.
And most importantly, the potential for this capacity lies inside all of us.
In fact, it is my confident suspicion that this process (of not triggering others Destructive Natures and not responding to their Destructive Impulses) is the exact scientific foundation upon which every Great Masters' message was formulated.
For upon exploring their messages it will be found that they were all essentially saying the same thing, with the small variations being a result of their individual personalities.
If we would have had the opportunity to come into direct association with any of them, I have no doubt we would have discovered that what they were actually teaching was a set of practical applications that if applied would allow us to control each and every Destructive Impulse the Human Soul is err to.
It further may be worth noting it's been my observation that what psychologists label "mental disorders" are simply conditions that are naturally brought about, by Cause and Effect, through the submission to and then the deep suppression of some toxic mixture of the Destructive Impulses...
Which can be "unravelled", given that the individual has the Desire, the Will, the Way, and the Essential Attitude.
I reckon this is the scientific reason why the Master said: "Even the least among you is capable of all that I have done, and even greater things."
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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The Dangerous Dynamic
» Tuesday, November 10th, 2009 at 07:05am |
There is one trend in Human Nature that comes about due to the mutual submission to our Destructive Natures.
It is this Dangerous Dynamic which would appear to be responsible for most — if not all animosity and disharmony, both in interpersonal relationships as well as in national or public relations between communities or countries.
It can be demonstrated thus:
Someone, usually through the fear-based channel of their Destructive Nature, crosses another's boundary yet does not recognize what he has done or refuses to acknowledge it.
The person on the receiving end responds to having their boundary crossed from their own Destructive Nature, usually through its anger-based channel.
Now both parties are operating from their Destructive Natures rather than thinking rationally.
If we know this, it is probably not too difficult for us to think back in our memories and easily recognize the Dangerous Dynamic in operation many times over in our lives.
And upon doing so, we will notice the end result is this:
The person who initiated this Dangerous Dynamic was either too proud or ignorant to notice how what he did triggered the other person's Instinctive Response — often either due to a lack of understanding of Human Nature, lack of Self-Awareness, or Pride — therefore, he blames that person for their reaction to his own Destructive Behavior instead of recognizing he has been in error.
In fact, he often takes it further and looks at the other as being "the problem".
That person who has been trespassed against adds to his initial instinctive anger an additional rage from the recognition of the other person's ignorance of his actions or his unwillingness and even indignant refusal to acknowledge it.
And, in this, the real issue is never resolved.
Each play their role, yet both consider the fault to be fully on the other end.
For on one hand, the instigator doesn't see or refuses to see the reality of his trespassing. And on the other, the recipient often ends up holding a grudge because of it, and perhaps further takes up vengence.
It will likely be observed that we have all been on both sides of this Dangerous Dynamic at one point or another.
Furthermore, it has been my observation in a great deal of sex relationships that it is generally us men who often cross women's boundaries without knowing it, and when they respond instinctively to our behavior, we blame them for it and condemn them for being "the problem".
Of course, it does go the other way too. But it seems more times than not, us men, in our stronger innate tendency toward Arrogance and Self-Righteousness, initiate it.
It has also been my observation that the Dangerous Dynamic is very often the very root of misery or failure in relationships and marriages, which, if it was understood by both parties and each took responsibility for acknowledging what part in the dynamic they played, the real issues could be resolved, leading to harmony (assuming the couple's Individualities are fitted to one another in the first place).
Upon the nature of the Dangerous Dynamic, this would seem to be the practical reason why the Master said: "Do good to those who hate you."
The reason is simple:
It short-circuits the Dangerous Dynamic through the deliberate control of our Instinctive Response in relation to others destructive behavior.
And by control, I'm not talking about suppressing the response or pretending it doesn't bother us, as we're often taught to be the definition or operation of Self-Control.
In fact, I would argue that it is often better to submit to the instinctive response by expressing it and letting it out (as long as no great harm comes of it) rather than ignore it.
Furthermore, by refusing to admit the Instinctive Response, which is destructive, it does not have a negative affect on us, and thus, we are not penalized for it.
I've found, in regard to the Dangerous Dynamic on the "receiving end", that:
1) Suppression sacrifices personal power, but maintains what may still be considered a form or surface level of "trust" at the expense of harboring a hidden grudge, which, often, also goes ignored.
2) Expression maintains personal power, but destroys the trust of others and often generates animosity from them, causing them to go on the defensive and refuse to admit their trangressions by instead justifying it or retaliating.
3) And control maintains personal power, and actually strengthens the trust of others — what might be said to be the working or practical application of Compassion.
If you look back at my earlier work which it might be found was simply "disguised" as dating advice, you'll see these responses correspond directly with the Nice Guy, the Jerk, and the Cool Guy "archetypes".
It should be apparent that the differences between them are based solely on the manner of response to Destructive Behavior" from others: suppression, expression, or control.
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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The Illusion of Complaints and the Truth About Victims
» Monday, October 12th, 2009 at 07:50am |
When people bring you their petty woes and complaints, especially when they have nothing to do with you, how do you generally respond?
Do you accept them by nodding your way through them?
Do you find yourself agreeing with them and what they say?
And do you ever take it a step further and add your own woeful stories and validation to their complaints?
Maybe?
Maybe not?
But how about this...
When you think back to a time when you brought someone else your own trivial and honestly unimportant complaints, what kind of reactions did you get from them?
Did they react like the majority of people do?
By listening, accepting, agreeing and ultimately affirming them?
The reason these questions are so important is because how others respond to our complaints can and usually often does affirm the realities in our lives, which we may want to change.
And when we get affirmation on and for our "negative" or unproductive behavior it tends to encourage us to continue it, though it's often unconscious.
Of course, the best route to take is to stop complaining about what cannot be changed... and when it can be, take action!
For when we do this, we give ourselves the right to refuse others a listening ear.
In fact, refusing to listen to people whine and complain is a win-win situation, though some may not see it that way.
It seems like the majority tend to consider those who absolutely refuse to listen to trivial complaints, where there is no hint of a solution or resolution back of it, as "insensitive", "unloving" — or worse.
If you have not yet come to know it, try it the next time someone seems adamant about thrusting their woes on you...
Use every single method you know to get off the subject.
And if they're determined to whine and bitch and you're equally determined to not listen to whining and bitching, their response is quite predictable:
"You don't care, do you?" often accompanied by a hint of guilt.
The right answer, of course, is a good humored but blunt and honest: "Noooo-pe."
But the truth is generally quite the opposite:
By refusing to listen to complaints, what are we ultimately or "non-verbally" communicating to others?
Is it just about us?
We don't want to fill our mind with negatives, yes.
We don't want to get stuck in "failure-thinking", yes.
But perhaps most importantly, we are essentially saying, "Playing victim is unacceptable. Playing victim will not make you happy nor help you get you what you really want in your life."
By refusing to accept petty woes, we actually build up others Self-Reliance.
By refusing to "reward" others by giving them Life's greatest currency — our attention — by instead withholding it in the face of complaining, we influence their thinking to turn into constructive directions.
So let's take a closer look at the destructive process so we can see why refusing to be anyone's "shoulder to cry on" is constructive:
First, what do most people whine about?
Other people, right?
"It's him!"
"It's her!"
"It's them!"
"They did this!"
"They did that!"
Second, why do people complain?
Simply, they "buy" attention with pity, and who doesn't want or like attention?
But again, it's one of those "7 Devils" scenarios where accepting a short-term benefit causes incredible long-term penalties after the initial benefit has passed.
Which brings us to the most important point:
What if we did something that upset someone else without being aware of what we did, and they take it out on us?
We can bring it to our friends and whine about how "wrong" or "bad" that person is... and what are they going to tell us?
Most will probably tell us that we're right and the person we're complaining about is wrong.
I mean, even if they knew the truth of the situation — unless they're genuinely good friends — why would they risk telling it to us straight-up, given the chance that we may turn our frustrations or resentments onto them for not "taking our side"?
After all, what do most people do?
They agree.
And since they're our friends, why wouldn't we believe them — unless, of course, we know the truth about victimhood.
So the problem is that others help us learn, through their listening, accepting and affirming, that something which may very well be our responsibility is not!
And how does that help us?
How does it help them?
Does it not becomes a training program for denial and ignorance?
Perhaps that's the illusion.
Maybe it deludes and convinces us that the problem is always "out there", which stops us from recognizing and acknowledging when it's "in here".
By refusing to change ourselves, our lives remain the same.
And if our lives aren't were we want them to be, how does that help us?
Not only that but to take it even deeper, the practice of whining and gossiping about others is one of the major, major gateways that welcomes the fear of loneliness into ours mind, which sets the stage for it to become reality in our lives.
Rule of thumb?
Stop complaining and stop letting others bring your their complaints for your sympathy.
Of course, there are the rare instances where someone truly needs to be heard.
The distinction is this:
People looking for pity intermingle judgment and condemnation into their stories, whereas as those who truly want to confront and overcome their issues remove the judgment and replace it with Cause and Effect, devoid of condemnation but rather a realistic evaluation of the facts.
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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The Reality of Fear and the Importance of Awareness
» Sunday, September 27th, 2009 at 04:57pm |
Ask any random person what they fear and how do most respond?
"I fear nothing!"
But listen to what they say in normal conversation, and if you know how to recognize the expressions of fear, you'll probably notice something very peculiar...
Their words betray them.
For scattered in the language of their everyday conversation is found the evidence of every single fear.
They just don't know it.
The reason is simple:
They don't know the reality of fear, nor how to identify them.
In fact, it's been my experience that those who claim to fear nothing are exactly the ones who are infected with all of the fears combined.
I've seen this in myself and through the observation of others.
Furthermore, it is our dominating fears that tend to affect others negatively, as it seems our character defects are generally rooted in the fears we let ferment in our minds until they become unconscious habits.
And if we aren't aware of them, generally through ignorance or sometimes pride, doesn't this mean that we won't be aware of how our fears impact others?
Then what do we do?
What if, through our fear, we cross someone else's boundaries without knowing it — due to our ignorance of the realities of fear and perhaps our lack of self-awareness — and they get upset?
How do we tend to respond?
Are we quick to step back and analyze ourselves?
Are we rational in questioning our secret motives and their corresponding expressions or behaviors?
No!
Isn't the reality generally the opposite:
Don't we get offended at the truth about ourselves and become indignant?
Don't we defend ourselves and dictate our greatest argument, hoping we will be excused of our "bad behavior"... so we don't have to admit we're "wrong"?
Don't we tend to blame others for responding negatively to our "bad behavior" rather than looking at what we did to trigger it?
And for what?
After all, what's the result?
Loss of trust. Loss of respect.
The reason appears simple:
When others can see we're at fault yet we refuse to acknowledge and admit it to ourselves — and more importantly, to them — nothing we can say or do will truly convince them of the opposite.
Sure, they may "back down" and eventually agree with us.
But do they do it because they believe us... or to ease the burden we're being on them?
The truth is, they will only resent us more for it.
Yes, this is a glum scenario — but it's a reality, and I say it with purpose...
The importance of it is this:
After we've given ourselves an education of the reality of fear and we've developed the necessary self-awareness through continual self-analysis and self-observation, we can gain the facts about ourselves.
We know our fears, we know how they manifest themselves, and we know how those manifestations affect others.
This empower us:
Now no longer do we defend ourselves.
Now no longer do we excuse ourselves.
Now no longer do we justify ourselves.
Now no longer do we apologize for ourselves.
And now no longer do we feel the need to compensate for our weaknesses.
We accept ourselves because we HAVE the facts. We KNOW the truth about ourselves. And though we recognize how the truth affects others, we also REFUSE to let others hold it over our heads when it does not concern them — or if it does and we're putting in the personal effort.
To "know fear" is more beneficial than to have "no fear".
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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How Strong "Family Values" Kills Our Chances In Life
» Saturday, September 19th, 2009 at 12:31pm |
I've made an interesting observation, especially over the past year:
The more approval a man gets from the family he was raised in, along with his extended relatives, the LESS respect he tends to get from "The World".
While the more he is disapproved of by his family, the MORE "The World" tends to respect him.
There's a rational reason for this.
If you have not yet observed the facts and realized this truth in your own experience and you plan to get what you want from your life, this is a realization that will reveal itself to you in time.
Though it might be worth preparing for by expecting it before it happens.
The reason is simple:
Your family will probably condemn or "guilt trip" you for realizing it.
They may attempt to convince you it's not true.
Furthermore, denying it and then convincing ourselves this is not a reality will short-circuit our personal pursuits for a grander life because it may prevent us from analyzing ourselves and perhaps noticing the ways we play into it.
If you've studied any amount of "success philosophy", this truth is a trend that reverberates throughout the messages of practically every Great Teacher and Philosopher throughout the ages.
Society and culture tell us: "Family is most important."
The Wise Men say: "Family will destroy your Soul."
In fact, isn't it interesting to note that when the Master Jesus' family came to see him, he refused to let them in?
Yet He took it even further:
He publicly "rejected" them in front of his audience!
Why?
Let me warn you, this is not for the faint of heart. It may take some courage to accept, depending on your upbringing:
With very, very few exceptions, your family does not want you to change.
The truth is, they like you exactly where you are today.
They want you to remain the same, even if you want to change and you know it would be in your best interest — and even if your family knows it would be in your best interest!
Oh, they may tell you otherwise:
They may say they want "the best" for you.
They may say they want you to be happy.
But what's ironic about it is that, if you investigate that very sentiment, the motive behind it is the exact opposite.
In truth, the act itself contradicts the message.
What's more?
This is an issue that would, in the majority of cases, be unwise — or at least uncompassionate — to confront openly and directly without "insulting" someone.
Being the "bad guy" often seems to be the price of compassion.
History proves some are even killed for it.
Now if you're still wondering why The World respects the man who is disapproved of by his family, here's a simple demonstration:
Every family is it's own "culture"...
There are ways things are done within it that are "approved" of and even fostered — though they are often unspoken and communicated non-verbally — that are ALSO "disapproved" by The World.
So what's acceptable within the family may be completely unacceptable outside of it.
And if we've been led to believe that certain behaviors or ways of conduct are acceptable because we get approval and even encouragement to enforce them within the family, we tend to take them out into The World.
We expect The World to also accept and approve of them.
It does not.
Sometimes, it receives them quite the opposite.
If we don't understand how so-called strong "family values" and the effect the process underneath it has on us, we will not see — and perhaps not be open to seeing how our current conduct crosses the boundaries of the general public and unknowingly turns them into antagonists.
By following this demonstration it is probably quite clear:
Working at respecting The World by changing our conduct is bound to bring the disapproval of family.
The reason is simple:
Though it's usually unconscious on the part of both parties, we're generally taught disrespectful behavior in the family because someone is getting a short-term benefit from it.
In many cases, we too, may be receiving a short-term benefit.
These benefits, however, are destructive.
They are like stuffing ourselves with pastries every day; in the short-term they are satisfying to our taste but in the long-term, they destroy the body and the vital energies.
So it follows that to stop acting on many of the habits our family expects of us removes the opportunity for them to receive the destructive short-term benefits from them.
Thus, they condemn and disapprove in an attempt to hold onto those benefits.
Of course, the truth is you're actually doing them just as big a favor as you are doing yourself by inadvertently revealing how their behavior also does nothing for them...
But most likely won't or don't want to see it that way.
| Published by Jay Julio under Character and Personality |
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