Nature's Obligations
» Sunday, January 31st, 2010 at 07:27pm |
We have heard it said, "Ignorance is bliss."
But I say, "Ignorance is the inability to recognize misery."
For it is true:
Without the ability to recognize a thing as it is, according to the attributes of its character and upon the conditions of its function, no remedy can be made.
Furthermore, it will be found that, through Vanity and Egotism coupled with Ignorance, we have a strong tendency to deny, excuse, or justify that which runs contrary to what we often term Happiness.
But Happiness is a result of Natural Law, which is the Effect of a Cause.
That Cause is founded on specific conditions, which are established only by undertaking and fulfilling Nature's Obligations, specifically the first.
For Nature holds us responsible for two Obligations in Life, the first lending to the second.
It will be found that it is upon the Ignorance of Nature's Obligations which can be held accountable for much — if perhaps not all of the recurring problems, crimes, and miseries that plague a Family, Society, Nation, or Civilization.
Would we all be given definite Knowledge of Nature's Obligations early in Life, hold ourselves accountable for undertaking them, and personally dedicating our lives to working out the problems back of them, the Moral fabric of Society would refine and enrich itself through Cause and Effect.
Thus, here they are...
Nature's Obligations
NATURE'S FIRST OBLIGATION is the commission to take responsibility for and work-out the Destructive Impulses of our natures, through which the conditions of the mind are finally prepared for Prosperity and Love, back of Happiness — the essential prerequisite in successfully undertaking Nature's Second Obligation.
NATURE'S SECOND OBLIGATION is the commission of starting a family and raising children so that they are fully prepared for Life by the age of Maturity, yet it is only by first accomplishing Nature's First Obligation that it truly becomes possible to successfully fulfill Her second — for without Self-Mastery (or at least an adequate understanding of the operations back of Morality), no child will have learned Personal Responsibility and Self-Reliance by the age of Maturity, the keystone of Nature's Second Obligation.
It will be found that a child's Self-Reliance at the age of Maturity is in direct relation to the State of Marriage of the parents.
And the State of Marriage is in direct relation to the dynamic established in the Marital Union.
The State of Marriage could be said to be the "blending" together of the collective attributes of each individual spouse's Character to makeup a third, invisible Moral Character, which is that force back of and responsible for the formation of the children's Characters.
Should a child move through Life on the "default" he adopted through the influence of his parent's State of Marriage, he will unconsciously reproduce that exact same dynamic in his own marriage through his own Character and by attracting a woman who corresponds with it, whereby it will be reproduced in his own children (should they also refuse to seek Knowledge and work-out their crimes under Nature, and Nature's Great Creator).
And on it goes, if uninfluenced or unaffected.
Furthermore, it will be found that our irresponsibility in taking on Nature's Obligations is the reason why superstitions are born, procreate, and survive centuries after their births.
Not only that, it will also be found that back of many of the common superstitions still running rampart today, is due, in no small part, to a fear of or misunderstanding of Sex.
The Danger of Dogmatic Abstinence
There is perhaps no greater barrier in the preparation of a man's Moral Development for fulfilling Nature's Obligations than Dogmatic Abstinence — that impish child of Jealousy and Lust, perhaps the vilest combination of Destructive Impulses the Soul is susceptible to.
Yet the common justification the dogmatist gives us in defense is:
"If you have something special to share, shouldn't you save it for a person you truly care about? After all, if you share it with others, it's not special anymore."
According to the facts and operations of the Human Soul, it will be exposed that the truth is just the opposite — for it will be found that, under such Dogmatism, the secret motive and focus of the relationship falls not on the dynamic within the Union itself but on Sex and Obsession, no matter how it is justified to the contrary.
Furthermore, through this secret motive it will be observed that nothing aids in the fostering of Jealousy and Lust in the Soul more than Dogmatic Abstinence, those enemies of Marriage and assassins of Love.
Let it be known with absolute certainty:
No marriage can or will truly succeed until both spouses have mastered the Destructive Impulses of both: Jealousy and Lust.
Without this accomplishment, there can be nothing resembling harmony in the Union. Either both will not see it — or one partner will not see it, while the other is "forced" to compensate for their partner's ignorance.
This, the only outcome of Dogmatic Abstinence:
One believes in an illusion, the other avoids addressing it and instead caters to it, at their own expense.
Is there any worse misery in Life?
Deliberate Promiscuity
The desire for promiscuity is in direct relation to the Moral Character of a man:
There is no greater urge for promiscuity than in those of very low Moral Character. Though the desire is surpressed and compensated for, often through acts of crime and violence, it is the most pronouced, even though there may be no outward sexual expression.
Though the actual urge for promiscuity is less in the libertine than in the dogmatist and their Moral Character is more evolved than the devoutly religious, the the desire is acted upon readily and given outward expression through any available channel, where it often reaps havoc in relationships.
Finally, there is little to no urge for promiscuity in the those of high Moral Character. When no woman is present who he knows would harmonize with his Individuality or he deems himself not yet prepared for Love (upon the awareness of any lingering dominant Destructive Impulses), the Sex urge is transmuted in such a way as to give the best benefit to others, that Great Force known as Altruism.
It is upon these exact grounds, that, if promiscuity is deliberately used as a "training room" to identify and control the deadly combination of Jealousy and Lust within one's Character, with the intent of developing Moral Character — perhaps in the same way that it's necessary to take several falling and shaky steps before we learn to balance — it serves a man two Constructive purposes:
- The experience and skill to establish a harmonious dynamic is gained throughout the process of failing through a list of relationships, thereby learning the essential lessons to attain the ability sought after, thus truly preparing him to lead in marriage and please his wife, and
- The Knowledge necessary to identify a woman of high Moral Character and who harmonizes with his own Individuality — instead of opting for the instant gratification by defaulting to the first option.
For it will be discovered that, through constant association, the true Character of a person often eludes us the more familiar we become with them. Close association often has a strong tendency to cause us to lose the capacity to make distinctions based on the the facts of their Character.
Instead, they become recognized as "so-and-so":
"That's just how they are," we say, without truly questioning or identifying the impulses or true motives back of their actions.
For it is a fact:
Without points of contrast, and based on direct experience, a thing cannot be truly known.
Therefore, it will be found that the majority of "virgin marriages" go down in misery — except either one or both will not recognize their misery, due to the "missing points" omitted from their experience necessary to make the contrast and see the truth.
Denial is not too far behind.
Which is why Ignorance is not bliss; it is only the inability the recognize misery.
For if we find ourselves in a marriage to a woman, and that is the only or limited sexual experience upon which we have to make our distinctions (which is none or next to it), how is it possible to truly know whether it is, indeed, a happy marriage or not.
It might also be wise to note that by observing "virgin marriages" (after the one-to-two year novelty wears off), the man tends to drop the act he unconsciously put on to win her and becomes self-righteous, which causes the wife to become disagreeable yet she submits to maintain as much harmony as possible, only to succeed in brewing silent animosity for and toward him.
The End Result?
True Love between husband and wife — or that dynamic, when established, where neither has a desire to control the other, both consciously and unconsciously — only truly accomplished through the attainment of Self-Mastery, is the foundation of successfully fulfilling Nature's Second Obligation.
It is the fundamental condition necessary for the raising of children, whereby the child is fully prepared to leave the family with a strong sense of Personal Responsibility to his Brothers of Society, and with complete Self-Reliance.
All this due to having had the opportunity to associate with and model those of high Moral Character, and, through association, absorb the Essential Attitude into their own Souls.
Only thus, can Nature's demands and purposes be fully satisfied.
For we as men, and in direct correspondence with Nature's Obligations, have two critical roles to play in Life:
- Husband, and
- Father
One unto the other, both backed by our Moral Characters, that definite determinant by which we succeed or fail in fulfilling our Personal Responsibilities, under Nature and God.
For it will be found:
The man of low Moral Character will make for a poor husband because he will be incapable of satisfying the needs of his wife, and a poor father by encouraging his children's social Irresponsibility and by tearing down or undermining their Self-Reliance instead of helping them build it up within themselves...
Just as a man of high Moral Character will make for a great husband by fully satisfying each and every need of his wife, and a great father by actively aiding his children in developing their sense of Personal Responsibility and Self-Reliance.
Thus, if we hurry into marriage before we've developed our Characters and learned how to satisfy women as a sex, and in so doing also gained enough Knowledge to identify a Moral woman (what I used to refer to as a "Quality" woman) — or stated differently, one who has gained an adequate amount of Self-Awareness and learned to exercise a suitable degree of Self-Control over her dominant Destructive Impulses — whereby a high Moral State of Marriage is established in the Union, we are almost destined to fail at fulfilling Nature's Second Obligation, having already failed in Her First Obligation.
This is especially important for us men, as women tend to adapt themselves to their men much more readily and perhaps to a much greater degree than the reverse.
However, all is not lost if this path has not been followed.
There is an alternative:
It is found in both partners cooperatively deciding to undertake Nature's First Obligation together (the Pursuit of Self-Mastery) by working through their Sins in a spirit of mutual effort, with an understanding of the Dangerous Dynamic, until that which I refer to as True Love (where there is no desire to control each other) has been established in the Union as the State of Marriage.
Only then can a man raise the Left Pillar upon which rests the Headstone of Happiness, that Gateway to the Greater Life!
| Published by Jay Julio under Women and Relationships |
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Feminine Sex Attraction in the Pursuit of True Love
» Monday, November 9th, 2009 at 02:43pm |
It seems that all women instinctively know the basis of True Love, whether they have come to recognize it consciously or not.
And since it is the greatest aspiration in Life, they respond to it, being the Great Soul Craving.
This would seem to be the very reason why a movie franchise like "Twilight" has made such a massive global impact (as there are few "movements" that create huge followings unless they coincede with Natural Law).
The reason is simple:
Though it may be considered juvenile and silly by vain intellectuals and movie critics alike, underneath any "cheeziness", it exemplies quite precisely the true Nature of the Feminine Sex Attraction in relation to the Pursuit of True Love — perhaps better than any other movie has done to date.
Therefore, women are drawn to it because it's what their Soul Nature seeks but has perhaps not yet found in Life.
We know that though us men are attracted to the opposite sex first and foremost because of their physical beauty, women are attracted first and foremost not to our appearance but our Characters.
That is, the refinement of our Moral Characters — of which the effects, we know is physically evident to the naked eye through the innate recognition of Poise women seem intuitively keen on instantly recognizing.
Upon this Truth, an interesting revelation will be made:
We know that the act of living a Moral Life is the persistent, consistuous action toward mastering our Instinctive Natures, which involves the education of Human Nature, the Desire to make the pursuit, and the Will to act upon that desire.
And since, upon the facts of Nature, True Love between a man and a woman isn't possible where the man is yet a slave to his Instinctive Nature, women are compelled to seek men who have either mastered themselves — or are deliberately working at overcoming and mastering their Destructive Natures.
It seems that all other men who have no desire for Self-Mastery merely serve as "distractions" or a means of getting the experience a woman can later use to make better distinctions in identifying a Moral Man in her further Pursuit of Love.
Though it is true, many women do settle for security in this Life.
However, I suspect that pursuit is resumed many-fold on the Other Side, when "survival" can no longer serve as a major obstacle.
It is upon these grounds that Romance could be said to be — not the common myth of a man fawning over women and "worshipping" them with attention but the day-to-day experience a woman has in relation to a man's ups and downs, and trials and successes in travelling down the path toward Self-Mastery .
True Romance may be said to be that experience, with the exception being that the man's sole motive is the desire to make himself worthy of woman's Love.
It will likely be found that worthiness of woman's Love is based upon the facts of Nature and not the "good" and "bad" of what we can probably best call "dogmatic romance" — for True Love is not possible under Natural Law, in the same way that fire can't burn under water, when a man is yet at the mercy of his Destructive Nature.
Thus, there is nothing more Romantic to a woman than a man who wants to master his Destructive Nature so that he is no longer a danger to her (we're not necessarily talking "physical safety" here, but rather the destructive effects that lack of Poise elicit instinctively).
We see this process in "Twilight", perhaps more clearly than any other movie.
Edward's "vampire nature" could serve as an analogy for the Instinctive Nature of Man, and we see him earnestly trying to control it because he knows it is the barrier to Love.
It is during these struggles and battles with his Destructive Nature in relation to Bella that the drama takes place — what seems to be the definition of True Romance.
And if we take a closer look, we see a few things:
He's fully aware of his Destructive Nature and its implications, and he accepts its reality as not neccessarily either good nor bad.
He doesn't want to be dominated by it. He doesn't want to be an "animal" just because it's in his nature to be so.
And he struggles to conquor and master it through the lessons of trial, folly, and failure.
It will be found that it is this very understanding and Essential Attitude, when adopted by a man, which is the root cause that naturally triggers Sex Attraction in women — for as far as the Soul is concerned, it seems the purpose of the Sex Emotion is the motivator in the Pursuit of Love.
And since a man working toward the personal achievement of Masculine Power is the most basic responsibility of a man who desires True Love, Nature seems to have "written it into" women's Sex Nature as a trigger for the Sex Emotion, so she instinctively knows when a man is capable of or has the potential to "support" Love.
This cannot be faked, reverse-engineered, or calculated for selfish gain or in order to receive Nature's benefit, for that very motive would contradict the essential nature of the process.
The reason is this:
That exact desire is motivated by our Destructive Nature; therefore, to attempt it actually reveals or demonstrates a lack of desire to conquor it, in the same way that trying to pass off a piece of dough that has not been baked for a loaf of bread will not deceive anyone who knows what bread is.
| Published by Jay Julio under Women and Relationships |
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Foundation of Masculinity: Strength In Weakness
» Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 09:45am |
Isn't it almost commonplace amongst us men that we tend to refuse to acknowledge our faults?
If not to ourselves, to others?
Don't we often find ourselves doing everything in our power to ignore, justify, and excuse them?
And for what?
For the fact remains:
Any honest woman will tell us that this very habit is women's greatest displeasure and burden in dealing with men — when we are ignorant and apparently proud of it.
So if it's the most displeasing thing we can do in the eyes of women, why is it, in our innate desire to please them, do we overlook this fault, in all likelihood, more than any other?
If we take a look at what seems to be our most common misconception concerning our Masculinities, it will reveal the problem...
For with the problem exposed and before us, we will have the necessary understanding to overcome it.
Mark it well:
Our greatest weakness is our seeming indignation to see our weaknesses.
It often seems like we would rather prove a woman wrong than even consider the possibility that she can see right through us and is very likely secretly "snickering" at our arrogance for trying to prove something that is completely obvious to her is wrong to be right.
Will she say it?
Not likely — at least not often, unless her patience wears thin.
Consider this:
Let's say a man tries to convince you that the sun is blue.
No matter what he says, and in spite of any "great" logical argument he can place before you, will your knowledge that the is sun is yellow be changed by what he says?
Unless you're one who is easily manipulated by "flashy words" and so-called "intelligent" re-framing or persuasion, your answer will remain no.
The reason is simple:
The sun is before your eyes and it appears yellow; therefore, the man's argument must lose before it begins since the unspoken evidence — the obvious facts — refute it.
I'm willing to bet you'd probably just think the man either crazy or a fool.
In fact, is it not true that if the man would continue trying to convince you the sun is blue by stepping up his efforts, wouldn't he just succeed at better accomplishing the opposite of what he's trying to?
For instead of succeeding at convincing you he is right the deeper his argument gets, not only does he reveal how wrong he is but with every coming word, he loses more and more credibility.
In the same way, here's the hard but honest truth every man needs to accept if he truly wants to win women's respect (as well as other men of high Masculine Character):
This scenario is very much how women view our arrogance and our refusal to acknowledge our faults.
We may think it proves how smart we are, only to demonstrate, upon the facts, how truly ignorant of them we are.
So if this is, indeed, how women view our arrogance and it therefore works against us in our ability to relate and interact with women, just what is it about us men that motivates us to evoke the "penalties of hubris"?
Perhaps the answer lies in one question:
What is it we fear most by admitting our faults or weaknesses?
Isn't it a matter of our power — or at least perceived power?
For do we not fear that we'll lose it if we admit our weaknesses?
But is this truly the case?
If we look at the man trying to convince you the sun is blue, who has the power?
Does he?
Or do you?
And perhaps more importantly, who thinks he does as opposed to who actually does?
If true power is the ability to influence the minds of others and if that ability is based on a person's trust and confidence in us and what we say, how does trying to prove something someone KNOWS is wrong to be right profit us?
The truth concerning this matter is quite simple:
If we are unaware of ourselves — especially our faults — and we compensate for them because we fear losing our power, guess what?
We have already given our power away just by taking that mindset.
Furthermore, it will be found within the destructive side of Human Nature that we are prone to prey on others through their ignorance of their weaknesses and their faults.
We can be so sadistic as to "make sport" of those who cannot see the obvious in themselves and refuse to see it for no other reason than to gloat as a justification to feel superior.
Thus, in the very act of ignoring and denying our faults we actually place ourselves at the hands of those who have made of themselves slaves to their Destructive Natures.
Upon the facts of Human Nature, pride makes of us slaves of slaves!
But here's the key:
By choosing, through the understanding of Human Nature and the development of Self-Awareness and Self-Acceptence of the facts of our true characters discovered thereof, to see ourselves as others do, we remove ourselves from a position to fall victim to the baser natures of others.
In fact, it becomes just the opposite:
Instead of those with inferiority complexes making us look like fools for our ignorance as a means of satisfying their own vanity, by openly acknowledging and admitting our weaknesses, we end up more powerful and they end up penalizing themselves for giving in to their baser natures.
It can be demonstrated thus:
Imagine someone went around believing he had an "insider secret": that the sun is yellow.
If you are blind, you may find yourself fascinated at the "unknown" things he's seen and can describe to you.
But if he uses his power as a means to appear superior to you based on the fact that he holds your attention, does that make him so?
Perhaps only if you fall under the "spell" of his knowledge mixed with vanity.
But what if you are not blind and have full capacity of your eyes?
Where a blind man might revere him, would you not think him a fool for using what he knows that others don't for the sole reason of making himself feel powerful at the expense of their ignorance?
If he attempted to tell you, who knows the sun is yellow, that it is, would you not just laugh at it him for trying to use the obvious to get you under his power, leaving him to accept the humiliation his hubris brought upon him?
So it is with strength in weakness!
With the knowledge of Human Nature and the awareness and acceptance of self, our faults can no longer be used against us.
Our weaknesses, when acknowledged and accepted, become our strength for the simple reason that they can't be used at our expense and it causes those who prey on weakness to get caught and humiliated "in the act".
Furthermore, to those of us who seek True Happiness — found in the exclusive relation of Love and the union of Sex:
There is no woman out there who has achieved any degree of Feminine Receptivity who would even consider getting into a relationship with a man who was not masculine or courageous enough to recognize and accept his weaknesses, upon the facts of his Character.
The reason is this:
She knows it is the major habit in a man that removes the foundation to building the relationship her Soul craves.
And upon these grounds, it will be observed in any miserable marriage that the wife never shames the husband for his faults. She only humiliates him for his indignation to recognize them, and in relation to how they affects her.
Therefore, there is no shame in weakness, only in ignoring and refuting it.
| Published by Jay Julio under Women and Relationships |
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The Purpose of Promiscuity
» Monday, October 5th, 2009 at 04:23pm |
It's in our nature be to promiscuous, is it not?
Unless we're self-righteous and ignorant to the truth about ourselves, we know that the desire to sleep with any and every woman we find attractive is in our essential nature.
And on these grounds, we find an interesting scenario unfolding with two opposing views:
On one hand, we have the libertine who uses this fact as a reason to indulge his desires and appetites, and perhaps excuse any havoc his behavior reaps.
After all, that's how he was created so he can't help it. Thus, why should he deny himself?
And on the other had, we have the puritan who uses this fact to secretly shame and condemn himself only to compensate for it by acting as if he's "above it" and condemning those who partake in promiscuity.
After all, acting like an animal is only something "Heathens" do and he's "better" than that.
But Nature has a purpose...
She has endowed us with all our attributes for a specific purpose.
Perhaps we can look at the purpose of promiscuity in the same way as we can look at any other "controversial" problem of Nature:
Have you ever considered and realized that our so-called "negative" attributes or qualities serve a purpose?
A purpose that is, at least initially, in our best interest unless they outstay their welcome and start working against us?
Here's what I mean:
How long do you think any of us would survive if we were truly fearless?
If we never experienced fear, how many of us would still be alive today?
We know our fear warns us of danger and prepares us to take action.
Or how about this:
How many of us would retain any of our individuality if we never got angry?
If we never responded to others or events with anger, wouldn't we have sacrificed our individualities long ago?
Yet, at the same time, we know that fear and anger tend to be "negative".
Though they are critical to our physical and psychical survival on one level, they also become barriers to finding Prosperity and Happiness on another, if they linger after their purpose has been served.
So how do we account for this seeming contradiction, and in relation to sex?
You may find it comes with one realization:
"Promiscuity ends where True Marriage begins."
It seems Nature's true purpose for promiscuity can be likened to our appetite and hunger for food:
We know that our hunger is their to make us take action in order to sustain our health and vitality. But once we've done so, we know that our hunger pangs disappear for the simple reason that they are no longer needed.
But what happens when we abuse our hunger's purpose?
What happens if we refuse to acknowledge it?
Don't we become weak and fragile?
What if we over-indulge it beyond our needs?
Don't we become fat and bloated?
This is obvious, we know.
But do we know the same scientific processes back of promiscuity and it's purpose in the longing to satisfy a Soul Craving?
We have an array of physical scientists, nutritionists and health enthusiasts dedicated to exploring the affects of food and supplements upon the body and the body's health, but do we have "sex scientists" who are dedicated to exploring the affects of sex upon the Soul?
For what can be said about our hunger for food and the affect of food upon our physical bodies can equally be said about our desire for promiscuity and the affects upon the state of our Souls.
The only exception is where hunger is a matter of the physical body, promiscuity is a matter of the Soul.
The Sex Emotion, like hunger in the search for nourishment, is the motivating agent in the search for Love — the scientific basis of "True Marriage".
And like our hunger pangs, which disappear when our appetite has been satisfied, our urge for promiscuity ends when we have found our Soul Mate and the Love condition for "True Marriage" is fulfilled.
Thus, in a balanced individual — one who neither suppresses or over-indulges his natural desires and appetites — if the desire for promiscuity is present in a long-term relationship or a legal "marriage", it is Nature's way of telling him the Soul isn't satisfied.
His current partner is not capable of meeting his essential requirements, suited to his own makeup and individuality.
And in light of this, promiscuity is the "trial and error" search for Love and True Marriage where education and knowledge on the true purpose and function of Sex is absent.
It is exactly like the neanderthal man experimenting with fruits and berries to gain the factual knowledge he needs to determine the nutrients from the poisons to sustain himself instead of destroying himself due to his ignorance.
Promiscuity ends where True Marriage begins, just as the experiments with food end when we have identified and separated the nutrients from the poisons.
Thus, with a great shortage of Sex Knowledge today:
Those who preach abstinence before marriage (assuming they do not have Sex Knowledge, which tends to be the case) do not know how they starve the Soul's natural craving for they prohibit the search and offer a weak substitute, perhaps even a "bribe".
Those who advocate promiscuity for pleasure's sake or so-called "Free Love" do not know that they bloat the Soul into obesity for they "eat to eat" rather than to discover and sustain the conditions for a happy and healthful life.
Those who prevent or condemn divorce or any spouse who wants to dissove a legal marriage short-circuits the deepest craving of the Soul to satisfy their own Selfishness and Self-Righteousness.
And until those with Sex Knowledge come forward and offer it and it is accepted by the people, promiscuity is the only natural or "trial and error" path to True Marriage, where True Happiness is found.
| Published by Jay Julio under Women and Relationships |
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Alcoholics, Drug Addicts... and Pick-Up Artists
» Thursday, September 24th, 2009 at 06:54pm |
Would I be safe to assume that most of us probably share a very similar view of alcoholics and drug addicts?
I imagine most of us don't exactly hold them up as models of self-respect, do we?
The truth is I look at Pick-Up Artists in the same light.
In fact, I consider them self-disrespecting to the same degree.
Now, before going further, a distinction should probably be made:
It seems to me there are genuine Cool Guys out there who do consider themselves Pick-Up Artists, meaning they're also doing the work on themselves and improving who they actually are.
But when I think of Pick-Up Artists, I think of guys who attempt to change their behavior for the sole purpose of eliciting an attraction response from women, even if it's not congruent with who they really are underneath.
And though I do consider this to be a valuable part of the learning process, I look at it in the same sense that training wheels can be valuable in learning to ride a bike:
Their purpose for being there is to get rid of them as soon as possible!
I mean, who would put training wheels on their bike just because they're too lazy to learn how to balance by themselves?
Yeah, that's how I look at Pick-Up Artists.
Sure, "attraction techniques" can be useful in helping us balance our masculinity but they need to be thrown out if we truly want to be men.
Which brings us to the point...
When seeing a drug addict on the street or the obvious alcoholic, how many times have you stopped to consider how he got there?
Have you ever imagined him in younger, perhaps even confident days?
Certainly, there may be a good chance that he was once a vibrant young kid full of big dreams and aspirations for his life.
So what happened?
What changed his path?
Where did things go "wrong"?
Let me ask you this:
Can you remember your first drink?
If you're like most, you were probably young and just having fun with your friends, exploring and experimenting with "new experiences".
In fact, you probably look back on those days relatively fondly.
But if you think about, what's the difference between getting drunk for the first time and the alcoholic getting drunk for the first time today?
Isn't the actual act essentially the same?
So why do we tend to despise the alcoholic getting drunk yet we might envy our friends going out to the bar to "party" while we have to go to work or do school work?
Yet if you think about, isn't this the exact scenario where alcoholics get their start?
I mean, if they knew where they'd end up, would they have continued?
It's fun, new, and exciting in the beginning.
The same thing applies to the most deprived drug addict.
It probably started as "fun" and just "experiments".
But by the time they realize they no longer have the choice, the "external" circumstance surrounding the drink or drug have completely changed from fun to misery and deprivation.
Well, what if the Pick-Up Artist path follows the same route?
After all, how many Pick-Up Artists do we see later in life?
If they're still in the "fun, new, and exciting" phase, certainly it can be appealing.
We can even envy their so-called "success".
But perhaps we don't yet see the big picture.
It seems most of us dream of finding a great woman to have a great long-term relationship with one day, at least when we're ready and when the time is right.
In fact, I would argue that this is the biggest craving of the Soul behind each and every one of us.
Yet if you look at the older Pick-Up Artists who are now pushing 40 and beyond, how many of them are not only married but happily married?
I'm not aware that there is one.
We know that guys try to "buy" women's affection with money, favors and time for the sole reason that they fear being lonely.
It's the same with techniques:
We use them in the same way, to accomplish the same secret motive; to attempt to compensate for our fear of ending up alone rather than overcoming the fear itself and accomplishing what we really want.
For if that fear is present in our mind, it will come to be, eventually.
It must.
It's a fact of Nature.
| Published by Jay Julio under Women and Relationships |
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3 Week Program To Build Confidence Meeting Women
» Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009 at 12:49am |
Yesterday I mentioned the release of my new eBook "Cool Guy Dating Tips" and the limited-time discount, so just in case you missed it here's the link again:
http://www.coolguywithwomen.com/coolguydatingtips/
It's the biggest book I've put together yet, totalling over 550 pages.
You may find it to be something you can read a little bit every morning and take one idea with you into your day to practice.
Then do the same thing for the next day.
And so on.
You'll probably find that by focusing on just one specific thing during the day, improvement will be constant and consistent.
That's what I've found anyway...
It actually generates the FASTEST results or changes just because it makes taking action easier.
The reason is that you're not trying to master everything all at once.
Instead you take it one step at a time.
That's why I would strongly recommend you check it out:
http://www.coolguywithwomen.com/coolguydatingtips/
It seems like a lot of guys try to learn exactly what they need to do in every situation and that by "knowing" all the steps — it actually stops them from taking action!
The reason is simple:
It makes them even more scared that they're going "screw things up".
After all, if they "know" exactly what to do, things should go perfectly everytime, shouldn't they?
But the truth is:
They don't.
Becoming better at talking to women and interacting with them in a fun way is incremental.
In fact, the quickest way to fail is to try to do it all at once!
Taking it one step at a time by applying a little bit of info each day will allow you to integrate what you learn from direct personal experience rather than "thinking" it all through in your head...
And then ending up doing nothing about it.
The reason is simple:
You remove the feeling like you have to hurdle over a huge ravine instead of just taking a small step in the journey.
And if you know what I'm talking about here, I think you'll find this eBook is just what you need:
http://www.coolguywithwomen.com/coolguydatingtips/
What I would recommend is that after you download it, read one section every day in the morning.
Then do your best to apply just that ONE THING during the day.
Think about it:
If you do that consistently each and every day, what would happen in just one week?
One month?
One year?
For example, imagine what you would be like two weeks from now if you made it your goal to just start a conversation with one stranger every day.
That's pretty simple to do.
In fact, that's what one section of my eBook talks about:
If you're having trouble approaching women and starting conversations, start practicing on other people that are less "intimidating", like the clerk at the convenience store...
Or the old woman in the grocery store line-up.
Then slowly work your way up.
And if that's already no problem for you, imagine what it would be like to strike-up a conversation with just one woman a day.
Nothing major, just small talk.
Because guess what?
Some are naturally going to get into deeper conversations.
It's inevitable.
And some will automatically lead to getting phone numbers... and so on.
Imagine doing that for an entire year...
That'll be 365 experiences at initiating a conversation with complete strangers, many of which will be cute women by that time.
In fact, if you make it your goal to strike-up a conversation with just one person a day, and if you're "stuck in a rut" right now, you may very well find that just doing that will change your world around.
I would encourage to make this a goal for just 3 weeks.
Make a promise to yourself today that you will do this.
And in 3 weeks, if you've kept your promise to yourself, email me tell how it went.
I'm willing to bet you'll say that meeting people in general, women included, is now just a part of ordinary life...
Just like getting up and getting ready for your day.
In fact, if you do this you probably will find that you don't need any more material, but during that time if you run into problems in your conversations, flip to some of the articles in the eBook on them.
Just read those and try them out the next day and see how that changes things.
You've probably heard it before, but...
"Slow and steady wins the race."
It's true.
There's no such thing as "instant success". There's only small steps, each taken one after the other.
http://www.coolguywithwomen.com/coolguydatingtips/
| Published by Jay Julio under Women and Relationships |
|
Reverse-Engineering Attraction... Seriously?
» Saturday, September 12th, 2009 at 06:52pm |
Who was it?
Walter Crysler?
... who spent his entire life savings to purchase a car only to dismantle it and put it back together again, over and over again... to the astonishment of his family and friends?
They thought he was crazy.
But was he crazy?
Not at all.
You may know he was being smart.
After all, why would any man focused on achieving his purpose attempt to explain himself just to satisfy the "concern" of meddling family members, especially when doing so would probably cause them to try to convince him "he's dreaming" and he should "be realistic".
By "going crazy", he was teaching himself how cars work by reverse engineering them, so that he could build a better one.
Now, maybe not everyone knows his story but who doesn't know of Crylser today, at least as a brand?
So why I am reiterating this story?
For one simple reason:
Women are not cars.
Yeah, kind of obvious, right?
But to those who try to reverse-engineer attraction, they may as well be.
In fact, they seem to think they're very smart for doing it.
And you know what?
They probably are.
However, if you're not just interested in sexual gratification and you eventually want to find Love and a great relationship, reverse-engineering attraction cannot and will not allow you to attain it.
In fact, it sets the foundation for the exact opposite.
The reason is simple:
Reverse-engineering attraction only accounts for the Physical Nature of women. It does not account for the Soul Nature. And if we only approach our relations with and to women through the lens of their Physical Natures at the exclusion of their Soul Natures, we limit ourselves to the benefits of Sex alone.
And if that's your thing, my matertial probably isn't for you.
But if you're interested in both Love and Sex, it would be my advice to you that you stop using "techniques".
Stop expermienting with them.
Stop reading about them.
Throw them out.
They may make good "training wheels" but what good does it do you to continue using them if they don't allow you to balance for yourself?
The truth is:
The techniques are destroying the foundation for Love.
Everything a technique will do for you can be better accomplished by harnessing Nature rather than manipulating Nature.
If you embrace The Psychology of Masculinity, the attraction takes care of itself as it was designed to in Nature. And not only that, it has the very foundation for the capacity of Love naturally "built in".
For what is the foundation of Love?
Absolutely no desire to control or manipulate our partners into doing what we want them to do... and refusing to let them control or manipulate us.
Yet what do techniques generally do, no matter how we may try to deny it?
You got it.
Furthermore, show me the man who claims to have found Love by using techniques and I will show you a liar.
| Published by Jay Julio under Women and Relationships |
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